Glossary
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A non-exhaustive glossary of terms commonplace amongst Scalfani observers. You might find these terms be used around CWJki articles.
The following is sorted in two categories; terms generally used around all lolcow circles, and Scalfani-specific terms. Not to be confused with Jack's own linguistic marvels, Jackisms, though some overlap does exist.
General lolcow terms
A-Log
- Derived from Chris Chan troll Anthony LoGatto; used to describe someone expressing disproportionate levels of hatred and/or harassment for a lolcow.
Cowtipping / Pozloading the neghole / Touching the poop
- Derogatory terms for the act and consequences of trolling a lolcow, which often leads to the loss of milk.
Guntguard / White-knight
- Someone defending the honor of a lolcow online. In the Scalfaniverse, an example of this is The Wolfe Pit.
Janitor / Janny
- Moderators obsessively sweeping up a lolcow's chat. Jack's moderation team is mostly infiltrated by trolls, but "genuine" jannies include Wim and the now-deceased Mama Bubbles.
Lolcow
- An eccentric person on the internet who can be "milked" for laughs. Jack very much fits this term.
Milk
- Content or laughs that are "milked" from lolcows.
Paypig
- Derived from BDSM slang; a person who throws money at a lolcow, either because they're a genuine fan or because they're a troll trying to stay in the lolcow's good graces.
Phonebooking
- A less loaded term for the act of "doxing" or unmasking a person online, using public information derived from their social media posts and available databases.
Ween
- A petty, often failed troll.
Scalfani-specific terms
Almond Ranger / Keto Bear
- Nicknames for pastry chef Kirk Hutchinson of Power of the Almond, a bakery in Starkville, Mississippi visited by Jack for JOTG, who Jack got oddly intimate with.[1] In gay slang, a "bear" usually refers to a gay man who fits into a subculture built around a larger and hairier look.[2] Some detractors later found Hutchinson's Instagram posts and discovered that he was, in fact, gay. Although attempts on contact were made, Hutchinson ultimately never commented on Jack's visit.
The Bank of Q
- Refers to the Scalfanis seemingly receiving endless bailouts from Tammy's mother Carolyn, who is nicknamed Q by Jack observers.
The Boys' Club
- A term coined by Jack for a place he sends banned chatters to.
Cameltoe Spoon
- A red plastic stirring spoon often seen in Cooking with Jack videos. It has a cutout in the handle for slotting it onto pots, which looks like a woman's cooch.
-
CU Piggy in the flesh.
Combining with Jack
- A mock nickname for Cooking with Jack, referring to recent episodes being little more than Jack slapping ingredients together.
Cooking with Tammy
- Another mock nickname for CWJ, referring to episodes where Tammy is doing the bulk of the work with Jack merely narrating.
CU Piggy
- A piggy bank depicting Patrick Star from SpongeBob SquarePants[3] which often appears as a prop on Cooking with Jack episodes. The name was coined by Pink Chicken & The Lazy Man who would excitedly point out whenever CU Piggy showed up in videos (Hence the pronouncation of "See-You Piggy"). A different, green piggy bank which depicts Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is also known to exist in Jack's inventory.
Double Intamnity
- A play on the 1944 film Double Indemnity. Refers to a theory of Tammy possibly trying to kill Jack, whether directly or indirectly, in order to quickly collect his life insurance.
Gastrosexuality
- Sexual attraction to food, which Jack appears to exhibit often.
Grill Graveyard
- The wood deck at 157 Trail Ridge Drive used by Jack to hoard old grills, reaching 20+ grills at one point. At one point, the grill collection could be seen dumped on the house's driveway on Google Earth satellite imagery.
F as in Fat
- An alternative nickname for F as in Frank.
Foodjacks
- Jack's self-imposed name for his fans. In the Jack observer community, it has been used to describe both genuine fans and hatewatchers (The wiki generally tries to stick to the former).
Financhew Crisis
- A spin on the term "Financhu Crisis" by the Chris Chan community; this refers to periods of Jack seemingly having trouble with his (actually Tammy's) finances.
Floppy Bowl
- A floppy red plastic bowl often seen in Cooking with Jack videos.
Frank Scalfani
- A fictional character derived from the name of F as in Frank, where Jack repeatedly has to point out that he means the term "frank" and not an actual person named Frank.
Jacktime
- Jack's local timezone, or Central Daylight Time.
Jerking Off Ten Guys
- An alternative interpretation of JOTG.
Jim Traynor
- A fictional character named after "gym trainer" who is said to fuck Tammy behind Jack's back.
Meat booger
- A small blob of ground meat Jack often puts in cooking vessels to assess their temperature before dumping ingredients in.
Meat Marine
- A fictional character of a seasoned soldier fighting in the JOTG FOOD WARS.
Mommywife
- A mock nickname for Tammy, who often acts like a babysitter for Jack.
Murderchurch
- A nickname for Cornerstone Church, whose former pastor Maury Davis is a convicted murderer.
Q / Qarolyn
- A nickname for Carolyn Flanders, the mother of Tammy. A play on the "QAnon" conspiracy theory, referring to her relentless conspiracy-posting.
Rapechurch
- A nickname for Long Hollow Church, where a summer intern was arrested for statutory rape.
The Scalfaniverse / Scalfani Cinematic Universe (SCU)
- Jack's extended family and friend circle.
Steam glove
- Red rubber glove often seen in Cooking with Jack videos. The name was later used by a YouTube chat troll.
Strokebrain
- Jack's brain, fried beyond recognition from his several strokes.
Thomas Court
- 103 Thomas Court, the temporary residence of Jack from 2023-2024 and the current residence of Junior. Some trolls figured out the address before Jack officially revealed his new house, and used the name "Thomas Court" on troll accounts to rattle Jack. The terms "Thomas" and "court" were later seen in Jack's leaked chat filter, bizarrely as separate words, resulting in that you cannot even say the name Thomas anymore.
WIKI WIKI
- An onomatopoeia for the record scratch sound at the beginning of the old Cooking with Jack intro. Also used as an alternative name for the CWJki.
Wolk
- Jack's misspelling of the political slang "woke". Generally, everything that confuses or angers Jack is considered wolk to him.