Jackisms

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“	CHURRRREEETZO!	”
Jack, being confidently wrong in his pronounciation of "chorizo".

Strokes have impeded Jack's ability to pronounce words like a coherent person.

Like many eccentric people, Jack has developed a rather colorful vocabulary throughout the years, whether caused by stroke-induced cognitive decline or relying on a speech-to-text transcriber, dubbed Jackisms by the detractor community. Jackisms are misspellings, mispronunciations, and even phrases that Jack tends to repeat ad-nauseam, all of which are unique to Jack.

The following is an ever-expanding dictionary of Jackisms that are seen and heard on his Youtube shows and social media posts.

Strokanese

A collection of common Jack mispronunciations of otherwise regular words.

Strokanese	English
ALLOTA YOU	A lot of you
Alligurr	Alligator
Almers	Almonds
Belpers	Bell Peppers
Brusketta	Bruschetta
Buhrrhea	Birria
Celree	Celery
Chal	Charles
Chipotlee/Chipoltay	Chipotle
Choreetzo	Chorizo
Coeslaw	Coleslaw
Colcutts	Cold Cuts
Coomin	Cumin
Euro	Gyro
Fridgerator	Refrigerator
Gabagaul	Gabagool/Capocollo
Gooshin'	Gushing
Gowrlick	Garlic
Groyer	Gruyère
Guaheelo	Guajillo
Gud	Good
hashBROWNS	Hashbrowns
Hollapeno	Jalapeño
Jooz	Juice
Jussis Gud	Just as good
Ka-booka	Kombucha
Kachup	Ketchup
La-gweentus	Lagunitas (IPA beer brand)
Letterfrapps	Lettuce wraps
Lidurlly	Literally
Maynaze/Manaids	Mayonnaise
Melk	Milk
Mussard	Mustard
Mutzarell	Mozzarella
Opaic	Opaque
Penny	Penne
Pinni Colada	Piña Colada
Polar Sausage	Polish Sausage
Polpork	Pulled Pork
Purie	Purée
Putin	Poutine
Regadda	Ricotta
Sawich/Samwish/Sawish	Sandwich
Shurger/Shugur	Sugar
Simonilla	Salmonella
Tammytillo	Tomatillo
Wagoo/Whitegoo	Wagyu
Woofing	Wolfing

Scalphrases

Terms or phrases frequently used or coined by Jack.

A dark place Where Jack assumes all the hate comes from. When you're a nasty person, you're in a dark place. I'm not! You guys must have a miserable life to be talking to me like that. You must come from a dark place, I feel so sorry for you. The Boys' Club A nickname Jack gave to banned people from his social media. The mods will put you in the Boys' Club if they feel it's appropriate. You know, Hoosiers, it was nice knowing you, but you have been... basically... graduated to the Boys' Club. Congratulations! Check the flame Jack having to remind himself to check if a flame has formed on his gas stove. Evidently, a gas leak was on the verge of happening in the Scalfani household at one point. Get it to like a medium-high. Check the flame... yep, flame's going. Get it lit... yep, we've got a flame. Always check to see if you've got a flame. Criticize me in private Jack's plea whenever people call him out on obvious bullshit. He won't listen either way, no matter how you reach out to him. I'll say it again, if you criticize me publicly on my posts, you mean to hurt me. If you privately message me to criticize me, then you care. [From Rob Milanowski] ...He told me to keep it positive and not criticize in public. Food, family and fun A phrase Jack uses to explain his YouTube content. It was mostly used to wane people off discussing politics in his live chats. As Jack became more politically active, he has used the phrase mockingly. Let's keep the chat family, food, fun. That's it. Thank you for sticking with the food, family, fun. It's not hard, guys! FOOD, FAMILY AND FUN HAS BEEN DESTROYED BY THE EVILS OF THE WORLD. SCREW FOOD, FAMILY AND FUN TODAY. I NEED YOU GUYS TO WAKE UP. Foodjacks Jack's self-imposed nickname for his fanbase. What's up, foodjacks?! Get the FRICK off Jack telling off a nasty troll using Christian-approved wording. ...By the way, George, if it's boring, get the FRICK off the broadcast? I don't know why you're here. The GUY WAY Jack doing things the "manly" way. This mostly involves him shoving his fist into things or making a massive fucking mess against all reason. I could mix this up with a spoon... but I'm not going to. I'm gonna do it the guy way! We all know what the guy way is... I can taste the X When otherwise unable to describe a dish, whether due to fried taste buds or mental deficiency, Jack will often simply name ingredients he knows went in it. You can taste the onions, you can taste the garlic... Hole in the wall Refers to a modest or underrated place. While a normal term, Jack used it to an annoying degree throughout 2022. ...We need more places like this. This is a little hole in the wall, I didn't even know it was here. Nobody wants to work (anymore) Used whenever Jack wants to whine about zoomers or being slightly inconvenienced with a service. Especially ironic since Jack has not held a proper job for more than two decades. ...Then they literally disconnect me. Not like I'm on hold, not like I'm in a waiting queue [...] It's like nobody works anymore! ...The current generation, they just don't show up to work. Tammy's work fired people hand-over-fist for them just not showing. Nobody wants to work! Video coming to the Jack on the Go Show on YouTube A plug often added on Jack's reviews of places on Google Maps. ...They have everything going on. I give them an A-. Video coming to the Jack on the go show on YouTube. ...The prices were surprisingly good. I give us place an A+. Video review coming to the Jack On The Go Show. X GUY Jack's go-to term for professions, seemingly unable to remember what their actual names are. Often used during the building process of 2006 Highland Drive. We just got final info from soil guy. Update: Tree guy is trying to get us on schedule. Update: Still waiting for survey guy to turn in our paperwork. Tree guy canceled and rescheduled for next Monday & Tuesday.

Community terms

Terms that are not used or coined by Jack himself, but have become commonplace amongst the Jack detractor community.

Cameltoe Spoon A red plastic stirring spoon often seen in Cooking with Jack videos. It has a cutout in the handle for slotting it onto pots, which looks like a woman's cooch. CU Piggy (Pronounced "See-You Piggy") A piggy bank depicting Patrick Star from SpongeBob SquarePants which often appears as a prop in Cooking with Jack videos. Double Intamnity A play on the 1944 film Double Indemnity. Refers to a theory of Tammy possibly trying to kill Jack, whether directly or indirectly, in order to quickly collect his life insurance. Floppy Bowl A floppy red plastic bowl often seen in Cooking with Jack videos. Gastrosexuality Sexual attraction to food, which Jack appears to exhibit often. Jerking Off Ten Guys An alternative interpretation of JOTG. Jim Traynor A fictional character named after "gym trainer" who fucks Tammy behind Jack's back. Meat booger A small blob of ground meat Jack often puts on cooking vessels to assess the temperature before dumping ingredients in. Meat Marine A fictional character of a seasoned soldier fighting in the FOOD WARS. Mommywife A mock nickname for Tammy, who often acts like a babysitter for Jack. Murderchurch A nickname for Cornerstone Church, whose former pastor Maury Davis is a convicted murderer. Rapechurch A nickname for Long Hollow Church, where a summer intern was arrested for statutory rape. Steam glove Red rubber glove often seen in Cooking with Jack videos. The name was later used by a YouTube chat troll.