CWJKI:FAQ

Here are some questions that come no doubt in readers' heads upon finding the CWJki.

About Jack

Who exactly is Jack?: Jack Scalfani is a cooking YouTuber who found success in the early days of the platform around 2008-2014, but has since become irrelevant as actually competent chefs entered the scene. Jack is a man of grand delusions, having endured several strokes due to his terrible eating habits, regularly buys expensive toys out of his resentful wife's pocket while hardly earning pennies a year himself, is fat, and justifies not having learned basic cooking techniques in decades by "just being a regular Joe". For more information, see Jack's page.

Did Jack really choke out his son?: According to Jack himself, yes. As told on the Sunday Evening Coffee podcast, Jack choked out his older son, Garrett (and not Jack Junior, the one often seen in videos), at least twice before 2015, supposedly due to Garrett showing weed-induced violent behavior towards him and Tammy. Garrett no longer lives with Jack, and hasn't for a decade now.

How many strokes has Jack really had?: Jack claims only having three strokes. Two additional strokes have been identified through Jack's blog posts, though Jack seemingly does not count these, as one was a TIA (transient ischemic attack), and the other he refused to get properly diagnosed for. The Jack detractor community does count these strokes, tallying up to five strokes. For more info, check out the strokes page.

Why is Jack's right arm floppy like that?: Jack lost the use of his right arm after his fourth stroke and never made a serious attempt at regaining it.

Why does Jack sound like THAT recently?: One of Jack's vocal cords has become paralyzed sometime after the fifth stroke. He's never made a proper attempt at regaining it, either.

I've heard Jack sold barbeque sauce. Is it still on sale? Is it bad?: Jack did sell a line of sauces that he narcissistically called The Best Sauces You'll Ever Taste, which included a barbeque sauce. It is no longer available as, according to Jack, the sauce's manufacturer went under during the COVID-19 pandemic. When it was still available, there were mixed reviews about it; there was no clear concensus on the sauce's quality among critics, with some even liking it.

Jack is fat, but how fat exactly?: According to Jack himself, he was 245lbs (111.1kg) as of 23 July 2024.^[1] This is quite hard to believe, though.

Has Jack ever held a proper job outside of YouTube?: Jack has verifiably worked as a DJ and radio host throughout the 1980s and 1990s. By the 2000s, he had fully transitioned into doing "producer" "work" only.

Are you sure this all isn't just an elaborate prank by Jack?: Although Jack's antics may feel like a skit after watching a couple videos, a closer look makes it really obvious that this is really who Jack is as a person. He really is this stupid. There's no real way to fake some of what he's done. Even if he was faking it, please refer to this comic.

Aren't there lolcows who deserve the wiki treatment more than Jack?: Yes, certainly. You could write a lot more about lolcows like DarkSidePhil or Boogie2988. But we wanted to start a wiki about Jack, so we made a wiki about Jack.

Where can I contact the wiki staff?: Discussion regarding the wiki happens on the Aunt Myrna's Parlour Discord server. You can also contact the owner directly at givemewikiwiki@gmail.com, where you may apply for a CWJki account.

I want to start editing. How do?: Once you've received an account from an admin, please read and follow the editing guide. You can also access it from the sidebar.

Why can't I open any of the Discord links in the references?: All current Discord links lead to Aunt Myrna Parlour; you'll have to join it to use them. We realize this is really dumb. We don't want the wiki inherently tied to the Discord, the latter could get nuked at any moment. We are discussing hosting this information elsewhere, whether by uploading screenshots of the messages onto the wiki or onto another file host (Note that Discord no longer allows direct image linking). Rest assured that archives of the server have been made, that will likely get released in the event of its demise.

Is this wiki affiliated with Kiwi Farms?: No. Although some of our editors may post there, the CWJki is not officially affiliated with Kiwi Farms, nor do the opinions of the Kiwi Farms userbase reflect that of the CWJki or vice versa.

I'm on this wiki and I don't like it!: You can request removal of mentions of you off the wiki using the two communication channels listed above, provided that they are unnecessary to understand the article's subject (Alas, no mercy towards the Scalfanis).