Garrett Scalfani: Difference between revisions

{{Agenda|As much as possible. There is tons of material to cover archived in [[Aunt Myrna's Parlour]].}}

As a baby, Garrett had a glass thermometer lost up his rectum after he peed on Jack during a temperature check.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwjt5iftrC0</ref>

Growing up with divorced parents, Jack described Karen as "not strict at all" with Garrett, and the juxtaposition with Jack being more demanding apparently "destroyed" Garrett's psyche.<ref name=SundayEveningCoffee>''[[Sunday Evening Coffee]]''</ref> At the age of 16, Garrett began interning at a computer shop in Huntington Beach, California. In there, he learned how to smoke weed, something that allegedly caused him to turn violent against Jack and Tammy, resulting in [[Sunday Evening Coffee#Jack recalls choking Garrett|Jack choking him out twice]]. Following these events, Garrett was forced out of the Scalfani household - Jack originally intended for Garrett to become homeless for a while and come back crying, however Jack's mom [[Connie Scalfani|Connie]] prevented this from happening by taking him in herself, greatly upsetting Jack.<ref name=SundayEveningCoffee/>

During the NFT craze, Garrett bought a green/purple Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT he called the Grateful Ape. He had a 3D model of the ape avatar he would use as an uncanny glitchy filter in his Instagram stories. It took until around August 2025 for Garrett to ditch the ape as his profile picture on social media, quite long after the NFT fad had died out.<ref>https://discord.com/channels/957778017277595689/957783767483818074/1407892003269771465</ref>

Garrett attended a Backpack Boyz NFT release party in Los Angeles on 20 August 2022 where a shooting had occurred.<ref>https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/hollywood-shooting-2/2968482/</ref> Garrett was interviewed about the situation, in which he struggled to piece together a single sentence, claiming that there was "no homicide" and that he knew the perpetrators but would not elaborate.<ref>https://www.instagram.com/reels/Chgo9wXMf-I</ref> There was in fact one person killed in the shooting.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dcwH5DNwjk</ref><ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220825005303/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DqXWRam-5E</ref>

Having lived in California for most of his life, in December 2022, Garrett moved to Koh Samui, the second largest island in Thailand. There, he tried various weight loss schemes to varying degrees of success, including Muay Thai lessons and taking bathtub peptides. In April/May 2024, he bought two mutated pitbulls named [[Scalfani family dogs#Hashley and Dolce|Hashley and Dolce]] that he has taken to beauty contests. His other stated businesses include a peptide and barber store, and a bike rental service.<ref>https://discord.com/channels/957778017277595689/957783767483818074/1483438193482137712</ref>

Around April 2026, Garrett unexpectedly deactivated much of his social media presence, perhaps due to his CWJki page being updated with information about Pricilla.<ref>https://discord.com/channels/957778017277595689/957783767483818074/1498090050624426034</ref><ref>https://discord.com/channels/957778017277595689/957783767483818074/1498092030872522822</ref> His accounts were later restored by May 25th, but they have continued to intermittently disappear and reappear since.<ref>https://discord.com/channels/957778017277595689/957783767483818074/1507763006413734034</ref>

Garrett was previously engaged to one Pricilla Toledo, who he nicknamed P-Funk, even shooting a terrible staged video of their engagement. By 2023, Pricilla made a Facebook post stating she had "the courage to leave an abusive [relationship] and ending an engagement I was conned into accepting." The post implies Garrett did not allow Pricilla to go see her dad, who was dying of cancer (but ultimately recovered sometime after the breakup).<ref>https://discord.com/channels/957778017277595689/957783767483818074/1067178183687934033</ref> Garrett never publicly addressed this matter. In the comments of the now-deleted engagement video, a user named enigmuuh8802 claimed Pricilla "took [Garrett] for everything he's worth and left him".<ref>https://discord.com/channels/957778017277595689/957783767483818074/1130669036875821107</ref> The user's exact relation to Garrett is unknown.

GShock PFunk engagement.jpg|Garrett and Pricilla from the engagement video.

Enigmuuh comment.png|The strange comment left by enigmuuh8802.

Garrett ex.png|Pricilla's post calling Garrett abusive.

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