The strokes
|
The following is a Lazy Man's Article. | |
 |
Consider contributing to the CWJki by adding to it. Read the editing guide if you need any help! |
In medical terms, a stroke is a pulmonary embolism of the brain. Pulmonary events occurring in other parts of the body are not considered to be strokes by the medical community. For the simplicity of this wiki, however, all pulmonary events are referred to as 'strokes.'
Due to his poor diet, Jack has had a vast number of strokes. The exact quantity of strokes Jack has had is not certain, but Jack has admitted to at least 5 strokes since 1990. When asked about the number of strokes he has had, Jack will often reply with a number far less than 5, and will typically blame non-factors such as caffeine or stress.
The effect caffeine and stress can have on a persons health is not to be understated. In Jacks case, however, the far more glaring issue is his weight - particularly his diet. Jack is steadfast and resolute in his quest to ignore these issues and maintain his corpulent lifestyle of excess despite these ominous health signs.
Stroke 1: Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA/Mini-Stroke) [1999]
Jack suffered a TIA in Las Vegas[1]
Stroke 2: The Forgotten Stroke [2008]
On 10 October, 2008 Jack woke up at 4:30AM with no feeling in the right side of his entire body. Jack went to the ER where the doctors attempted to give Jack blood pressure medication which Jack refused to take. Jack left the hospital on the same day and then proceeded to spend the next ten months arguing with billing about a $100 charge for the ER visit[2]
Stroke 3: The 'Mild' Stroke [2011]
In mid-2011 Jacks arm became unresponsive while driving to Las Vegas. Jack blames energy drinks and stress for the stroke and not his obesity inducing diet.[3]
Stroke 4: The Arm Taker [2018]
In June 2018 Jack suffered a stroke that paralyzed his right arm. He has been unable to move his arm since this event.[4]
| “ | I've lost the use of my right arm and everything's good | ” |
| Jack Scalfani, 2018 | ||
Stroke 5: The Hiccup Stroke [2023]
On 26 January 2023 at 11:38AM EST, Jack's mother in law made a prayer request on Facebook asking her followers to pray for an unspecified 'someone' who had been admitted to the hospital. It was soon revealed that Jack had suffered his fifth stroke. During his recovery, he uploaded a video of himself hiccupping in a hospital bed[5]
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230629133942/https://blogandcookies.blogspot.com/2023/06/back-to-blogging.html
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230629133942/https://blogandcookies.blogspot.com/2023/06/back-to-blogging.html
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqNIvYUnyBg
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNGuhhGBGdY
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZRh1yCwN1w